Revisiting My Time Machine Idea

This is not a sports blog.  I just like sports, and sometimes…I hate how much I like sports.

Royals fans need a time machine.

Difference between May and September: no one has drawn unhappy faces on their bags yet.

I know, I know!  I said the complete absence of time machines was a blessing for Kansas City Royals fans.  I was wrong.

I realize now a desire for the absence of time machines reveals defeat.  Moreover, it reveals acknowledgment (and yet, immediate denial) of defeat.  A refusal to look forward while simultaneously admitting that doing so would only show what you don’t want to see.

Royals fans need time machines because while we may already know there’ll be little to cheer for this September (translation:  May), we MUST be able to believe we’ll cheer during a meaningful game someday.

Royals manager Trey Hillman was fired today.  In two-and-a-half seasons, he was 152-207 as the Royals’ 16th non-interim manager.

I don’t so much think this was the right move as much as it would have been an incredibly wrong move to do nothing.  Such is life as a Royals fan of my generation.  On a respectable note, Hillman fought for the chance to end a losing streak and did so in his last game.

"So's your mom!"

Tomorrow is my first Royals game of the year, and it’s Ladies’ Night.  I believe this to be both an incredible opportunity for mockery…and potentially excellent fortune.  It will also be the first game for Ned Yost as the Royals’ interim manager.  Again, mockery and potential fortune abound.

In the meantime, I’m wishing for a time machine.

While we’re discussing things difficult to comprehend, let’s revisit my musings on Opening Day.  The following is further proof of why optimistic Royals fans are continuously unable to grasp/cope with reality:

Musing: Zack Greinke is the second coming of Bob Feller. Mid-May:  Greinke is 1-4 with a 2.73 ERA!  Since late 2008, Greinke has made 49 starts with a 2.12 ERA.  I’ll repeat…year-and-a-half…2.12 ERA.  The Royals are 23-26 during this time frame.  I make a living with words.  There are no words.

Musing: Billy Butler’s bat is sometimes mistaken for Thor’s hammer. Mid-May:  Butler leads the majors in grounding into double plays with 10.  Granted, the man still hits in the .330’s.  The fact he’s rolling over every other outside pitch and grounding out to short doesn’t eliminate the fact he’s lining half to right center.  Still, he’s a two-tool player on a team that could use more with one.

Musing: Joakim Soria may never break a sweat. Mid-May:  Suddenly sweating.  An ERA of 3.86.  Doesn’t really matter, though, as Royals relievers blow more leads than Soria is allowed to protect.

Musing:  Gil Meche and Brian Bannister stay healthy, that’s a formidable rotation. Mid-May:  Meche is 0-4 with an 8.24 ERA.  Bannister is 1-3 with an 5.18 ERA.

Musing:  Luke Hochevar, Mitch Maier, and Mike Aviles are all poised for breakout years, and everyone knows the American League Central is the best division in the majors for an underdog to emerge. Mid-May:  Hochevar is once again playing a Jekyll-and-Hyde game, Maier is trying to prove with no power, and Aviles doesn’t have a starting position even though he’s the best hitter on the team.  The AL Central is also led by the Twins, a team tied for the second-best record in the majors.


One Response to “Revisiting My Time Machine Idea”

  1. J Graber Says:

    I witnessed the first game of the Tony Muser era…also the first game of the Frank White as First base coach era…we lost 6-3 to the ChiSox.

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